Have you met someone and thought, “I know somebody just like you.” Or maybe you’ve been presented a problem and known immediately how to solve it. Or is it possible that you’ve jumped to conclusions, only to realize that your initial “gut instinct” wasn’t correct? Did you meet someone and get to know them before you decided if you liked them or not?
Sometimes it happens that we experience a person, an event – whatever – and immediately react. If it truly is immediate, your “awareness gap” (as i’ll call it) is very small. If, instead, you wait to pass judgement, collect data, make a decision, etc., your awareness gap is longer. Why is this important?
No two people or situations are exactly alike. Even twins have differences in their appearances, albeit ever so slight. A short awareness gap – the time from your awareness of the event until you form opinions – may take you into trouble by assuming too much and not validating your assumptions. A longer awareness gap gives you time to understand, to validate you opinions, to form ideas relevant to this time, this person, this event, or this situation. From this place you can take real, appropriate action.
Societal pressures, especially at work, can often force us into short awareness gaps. An employee presents a problem, the boss gives an answer. “Wow, my boss is so smart, she always knows what to do.” Maybe. But even if it is a problem the boss has encountered before, situations, players, details all may be different and the boss’s solution may not lead to the best possible outcome.
Here’s a little joke to demonstrate: A little boy comes home from school one day and asks his mom, “Mommy, where do we come from?” She smiles, stops what she’s dong and sits down with him, knowing that the “birds and the bees” discussion would happen eventually. She tells him about when two people love each other, marriage, sex, babies being born, God’s blessings, etc. She finishes her story with, “Do you understand all that honey?” He answers, “yeah, I guess. But the new kid at school comes from Cincinnati. Where do we come from?”
The simple lesson is be sure you know the question being asked, not the one you THINK is being asked. In other words, lengthen your awareness gap to shorten confusion!
